F@*# CANCER! - The Funny Thing About Cancer
 
UGH!  I hate cancer.  HATE it.

And here's the thing, I don't really hate much of anything or anyone.  I'm not a person that is big on strong negative emotions like that.

But cancer... I can't even tell you how much I loathe it. 

I'm sure you're wondering, where the heck did this come from????

Well, yesterday I found out that someone I know has lukemia.  This man is the father of one of my best friends from high school.  He's one of those genuinely wonderful people that, even though I haven't seen him in 5+ years, I still adore him.  My memories of he, his wife and my friend are some of my fondest from high school. 

Her parents were always there.  They never judged.  And their form of "advice" was to ask questions until you realized the answers yourself.  They are absolutely wonderful people.

And it just makes me so angry that yet another person that I care about has been affected by this disease.

My mother would tell me that anger is a wasted emotion.  To be angry with something or someone is to give it power.  And I hate to give cancer any more power in my life.

And yet, I know what lies ahead for this funny, quiet, gentle man.  It brings tears to my eyes.  Tears of sorrow that he has to battle this same demon in a different form.  His battle will be even more intense than my own. 

More than anything, it makes me wish cancer would go away.  I wish some genius out there would find a way to kill it.  Permenantly.  To destroy this disease so I no longer have to fear it.  So I no longer have to fear for those I love.  So I no longer have to hate anything.

For now, I guess I will simply keep praying.  I'll pray for my friend, her family and her father.  I'll pray for my own peace of mind.  And I'll pray hardest for a cure.
6/22/2012 07:11:07 pm

love you C! Thanks so much for your friendship! I debated texting you when I found out...because you get it... but I didn't because you've shouldered your cancer burden with grace and optimism and I am trying to do that too. Will I ever stop trying to be just like you?

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Mary
6/24/2012 08:38:33 am

I have lost several friend who have been diagnosed and died in the 4 years since I was diagnosed. Each a terrible blow. However, YOU are one of the success stories Cynthia - never underestimate the power of your success story. If I hadn't known some that had survived, I'm not sure I would have. Be his success story!!

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