Blog Archives - The Funny Thing About Cancer
You ever look at your calendar and think "yuck!"

You look down the road and see weeks upon weeks of things that you WANT to do... you just wish it wasn't all happening in a 2 month period?

Well that's where I'm at right now.  I'm on the precipice of a two month travel/work extravaganza and I'm going "Awwww, geeee... this is gonna suck."

Not because I don't want to do the stuff I'm travelling for, but because of all the schedule juggling and movement of my child and dog that I have to manage in order to survive the next 2 months.  I feel like starting tomorrow, I'm going to throw a bunch of balls in the air and hope that my juggling skills are far superior to what I think they are.

I'm sure a few balls will drop... like probably this blog for awhile.  So please excuse me if I am absent for a few months.  I'm still looking for nipple tattoo artists (the one I emailed told me she doesn't do "costmetic" tattooing).  So if I do anything wild and crazy or fun... I'll try to check back in.  But otherwise, I might be AWOL. 

Wish me luck! 
So lately I've been thinking more and more about getting my nipples done.

No, I'm not doing actual nipple reconstruction that will leave me with a bump for a nipple.  This would leave me with permenanat "high beams" or "tic tacs" in my bra... and I'd say the lack of worrying about my nipples showing through clothing is one of the few good things of cancer.

So no actual nipples for me.

Instead, I'm interested in doing "3D nipple tattoos".  Don't worry, they hopefully won't require special eyeware to "see" the 3D effect.  Instead, the tattoo is hopefully so well done, that most people won't notice that I'm nipple-less.

Still confused?  Here is a photo of work done by Vinnie Myers (a tattoo artist who does this alot):
Tattoos and images from Vinne Myers
Disclaimer 1: those are not my boobs.
Disclaimer 2: I will not be posting photos of my boobs... my husband would divorce me if I did so.

Anywho, those are just tattoos!  There is no actual nipple!  Anyone else think that's kinda crazy?

So that's what I deam of getting done someday.  There is just ONE problem.  There aren't many 3D nipple tattooists out there.  Seriously.  I'd say less than 20 that advertise any experience with this in the entire US.

And I really don't want to have gone through this entire reconstruction process to have someone mess up my foobs with bad tattoos.

So I'm currently hunting for the perfect tattoo artist. 

But the conversation is kind of awkward.  You call the shop and here is what the conversation goes like:

Me: Hi!  I'd like to get a tattoo.
Tattoo person (whom I imagine is hairy and biker-y): Ummm.  OK.  Of what?
Me: Nipples.
Tattoo Person: Nipples?
Me: Yes, nipples.
Tattoo person:  Ummm... Okaaaaayyyy.

OK.  I'll admit it, I haven't actually called any tattoo parlors.  In part because I've convinced myself that my initial conversation will go exactly as I've laid it out above.  I'm sure that I'm totally wrong.  And that most tattoo parlors are used to getting strange requests.  And yet, the thought of making that call makes me mildly ill.

So I'm relying on email instead! 

I emailed an artist just today.  Her name is Megan Hoogland and she is an award winning tattoo artist.  And she lives in... mankato?  I have no idea how I managed to find such a gifted tattoo artist in our small-ish town of 40K people, but I'm hoping she responds with something other than "nipples?  That's the wierdest request I've ever gotten..."

Anywho.  I'll let you know how my "interviewing" goes.  And I'm sure I will blog about any upcoming tattoo parlor trips before they happen... if I ever get up the guts to get it done.